Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A platform for a better smelling America

Sometimes a shower, good teeth brushing, and a phone call from a friend leave me feeling refreshed. OK, not just sometimes...all the time. Call me strange, but these three things are possibly my favorite things to do. Wait, add baking to that list.

But I seriously have my best moments of reflection and answers to life lessons during these times.

Am I alone in this? Anyone else gain their greatest ideas in the shower? Legit, I have some of the most profound thoughts happen while I am in the shower.

Enough about my showering. But, here's to my platform for good personal hygiene. It will cause world peace, bring an increase in applications at the US Patent Office, and will help me so I don't judge you by sight or sound.

I now announce my candidacy for President. Platform 1: Daily showers are required. Platform 2: Rid the world of pleated pants. Platform 3: Make Diet Coke with Lime the official drink of the United States of America. Platform 4: Require the former Miss South Carolina to take Public Speaking and Geography. Platform 5: Have Rebecca Black teach pre-schoolers her song "Friday" so they know the days of the week.

5 comments:

seashmore said...

You are not alone in having good thoughts come while you're in the shower. (Although, sometimes I get them when I'm in the bathroom for other reasons.)
Maybe it's the lack of distractions.

Hannah said...

Umm...Zach. You are pretty much hilarious. I vote for you. Zach Attack, Vote or Lack! (I'll work on it. In the shower).

Shayla said...

Can you please give a presentation to my office about no pleated pants and a presentation to my roommate's boyfriends about showering daily?! BLECH.

Allyson & Jere said...

You slay me. Especially the official drink of America. hahahahaha

Natasha said...

I thought of my personal statement for my law school applications in the shower.